NLA 2022/2023
Sun 24.04.22, 16:00 Hours | Allmend Brunau, Zürich

30 : 19

Match report vs Nyon

As Saint Peter alas did not change his mind to bless this Sunday’s afternoon with at least a smidge of sunshine, the champagne-rugby-hoppers prepared for a grudge match against their favourite frenemies, the Nyon-deadfish-pirates.

After both teams struggeled to find their rhythm at first, with dropped balls and skewed lineouts aplenty, it was the weeest of scotsmen Craig the Mac of Lennaghan who, after a call of “RUN IT” (probabaly from "Bad Neck" Cam), backed himself from behind his own tryline (!) to launch the first successful GC attack. Carries by Antoine “I fix lamps professionally” Duplan and Tantrum Tim, took the ball up to the oppositions 10-Meter Line, after which the Forwards and backs combined down the right hand side for Gwendal “let’s not be selfish” Loarer to score under the sticks. The following conversion by Tom the Mac of Mann took GC ahead by 7-0 after about 15 Minutes.

Nyon had no time to resettle however, as unselfish Gwendal seemed determined to continue to show his unselfishness, as after catching the ball and storming down the right touchline like a paranoid gadfly being chased by four Nyon players, he offloaded unselfishly to the already huffing and puffing Sammy “i donated my hair” Koenig. As his recent weight loss by sheering had not made him significantly faster, the ball unfortunately did not go to hand. Serendipitously other players, with better karma than Sammy – who donated his hair on Sunday –, were there to pick up the scraps. A big Carry by Tom the Mac of Carthy sucked in enough Nyon players for Tom the Mac of Mann to launch the Backline into Champagne Rugby mode for another try under the sticks this time by Craig the Mac of Lennaghan. Conversion of the try was provided by Hugh “you should read my matchreport, it was great” Kisiliewski. 14-0 after 17 minutes.

But it wasn’t all fun and games, as at minute 25, after getting tantalizingly close to a try, Antoine “Lampfixer” Duplan picked up a Knee injury and had to be replaced by Kev “I’m an Aussie, why the hell am I so Ginger” Barker. However the resulting Penalty and another two that followed three and six minutes later respectively meant GC had built it’s lead up to 23-0 after about 30 minutes were played and saw it through till halftime.


The Second halfs kick off posed to be a rude awakening for the Grasshoppers as Sammy “honestly why is my karma so bad, i donated my hair today” Koenig was sent to the sinbin for being pushed and falling onto a ruck from an offside postition.

Nyon took the opportunity and after first cornering Zurich via a scrum Penalty on the 5-meter line decided to quick tap and go to score their first try. With the Conversion good the Score moved to 23-7 after about 45 minutes.

As the Game Crawled to a snail’s pace due to a number of handling errors and penalties conceded by both sides, Zurich did well to not concede any points for another 15 minutes. However when they found themselves in their own 22 after consecutive penalties they were pushed back onto their try line by some fierce Nyon running. It was unfortunately at that point when Zurich’s afternoon hit it’s low point as Captain Jemba “bigdaddy Bullshark” was shown the yellow for a shoulder charge and Nyon were awarded a penalty try. Zurich’s Comfy lead had melted down to 23-14 after 60 Minutes.

But Lady Luck had another twist in store for the home team as a spilled Nyon lineout-ball was picked up and passed down the line to be hooved out the Zurich 22 by the very busy unselfish Gwendall. another lucky bounce and a hack on later the Hoppers suddenly found themselves in the Nyon 22 where in the end "Good Neck" Cam and Tom the Mac of Carthy combined to run it in once more, taking GC up to 30-14 after the conversion with about 15 minutes to go.


The last word however went to the Guests as they showed their privateering ruthlessness with a solid lineout drive, that Zurich had been struggling with all afternoon, they kept themselves in the game. Thankfully with Zurich’s reinforcement’s arriving steadily throughout the 2nd half Zurich had enough Energy in the tank to repell the guests last huzzas, having to put in a massive defensive shift in the last 5 minutes to see the match through to the final score of 30-19.

(Von: Samuel König)